Love is hard
I’ve been in a relationship for almost 4 years. We went through a lot, mostly because of a health thing of mine that still scares me.
She wants to have a baby and I do too. But we tried the usual way and it didn’t work out. We did an IVF and failed the first attempt.
Now it’s time for the next attempt, with a lot of tests, pills and sadness. She’s turning 42 soon and this breaks her.
We both have things that worry us, mine for me is life or death, and being pregnant is something that sounds like life or death for her as well.
I guess it’s not about what’s logical to me but what feelings say. I myself am not that logical with my own fears.
So our relationship is getting weaker every day. We’re at the point where if we speak 15 minutes about the relationship, we both get wrecked and unable to find common ground.
We’re seeing a couples therapist and the conclusions so far, after two sessions, are that we say one thing but we behave differently.
I’ve been really sad for a couple of months now. I want to love her, I want her to love me, I want to feel loved, I want her to feel loved.
I want to have a child produced by our love. But love is hard, if you pair it with other harshnesses of life. And we experienced some.
Thank you for reading.